Do you have kids in high school?
What is your view on college?
Do you talk with your kids about what your expectations are for them regarding post-secondary education and/or career opportunities?
I have two daughters.
One is currently a sophomore in college, the other is a senior in high school. Talking to them about post-high school started when their oldest cousin (my niece) was in high school.
Her story:
My niece hated elementary school. Pulling her out of bed each morning was a chore that my sister did not enjoy. Thankfully that all changed when she reached middle school and her new found motivation and good habits stuck with her for the remainder of her school days. She graduated high school in 2012 (Honor Society member) and went to college knowing exactly what she wanted to do. With several job opportunities available she was able to make a solid decision that she is, to this day, still thrilled with.
2012 would mean that J was 12 and H was 10 when we started talking college. (I often refer to my kids as #1 and #2 or J and H, you’ll get used to it).
Their next exposure to college was through their other cousin.
Story #2:
Niece #2 loved high school.
The social aspect anyway. She was very involved with clubs and sports. She exuded confidence, was excellent with kids and wanted to study early childhood education. During high school she was able to participate in an internship with the elementary school and truly thrived in that arena.
Her college experience was completely opposite of her sisters.
Unfortunately, college wasn’t her thing and after a while she dropped out. Now she is paying for college loans with no degree in hand.
She has a good job (at a bank) where she is highly respected and valued with a recent promotion to prove it.
Will it hurt her in the long run that she doesn’t have a degree? The good thing is college isn’t going anywhere and there is not age limit on admission!
One example of two kids, raised in the same family, completely different school experiences both happy and successful. Yeah!
Here is our story:
My daughter J had no doubts that she wanted to go to college.
Better yet, no doubt what she wanted to study. Since the day she watched Jaws, she became obsessed with sharks and started on a track to study marine science.
Here is it is in a nutshell:
- Saw Jaws and fell in love with sharks.
- Working with her school counselor we were all in every step of the way.
- My husband and I attended all relevant parent meetings, did countless hours of research online to learn about FSFA, loans, scholarships, etc.
- We read/proofread, read again essays, made spreadsheets.
- Multiple on-campus visits, tours, and class observations.
- Every step of the way J relied on us to keep her on track.
Story #4
Daughter #2:
High school graduating class 2021.
COVID changed everything.
Doesn’t think she wants to go to college.
Doesn’t know what to study.
Afraid to spend a lot of money on trying to figure out her future.
Has had it with remote online learning and does not want her college experience to be online.
Has a lot of interests and can’t narrow down the choice.
How are we helping?
We have encouraged her to research colleges that offer majors in her areas of interest.
- Are there any schools that have multiple majors available?
- Ask yourself the questions:
1. How far away do you want to go?
2. How big do you want to go?
3. Inner-City? Traditional campus?
4.What clubs do they offer?
Most important:
- Keep your options open. It is a long time between now and graduation and next Fall. If you do not set yourself up with options you are limited in your choices. If you apply and get in you can defer a year, or just not go at all.
That’s it. That was our involvement. She took care of everything else with her counselor.
- They did the research together.
- She filled out the application on her own.
- The essay was part of her English class assignment.
Mostly as a parent, I was in the dark.
Yes, I questioned many times;
- How are you doing with college?
- Can I help?
- Are you on track with deadlines?
I completed FASFA, I helped her with one application because it was required by one college to complete their application in addition to the common app. I paid the application fee.
Now we wait to hear.
__________
Embracing your child’s uniqueness and giving them permission to experience life their way is important. As parents we may not agree with every decision they make but ultimately it is their life. Prepare them with good decision making skills, help them understand the possible consequences and explore the different pros & cons to each situation. As adults they will learn from their mistakes, benefit from their accomplishments and make their way in the world, just like you did.
What is your child’s college admission story?